From Life Horror to Life Happiness – A Testimony
Hello, everyone! My name is Catherine. This is my testimony! ✝️
When I was a little girl, I remember I always loved singing. I would always sing and say, “When I grow up, I’m gonna be a singer.” It helped me cope, too.
When I was around five years old, my babysitter’s son let me watch Freddy Krueger. I remember I changed after that movie. I went home and started having severe, real, vivid nightmares! I would do bad things, evil, mean things as a 5-year-old and say, “Freddy Krueger made me do it.” It was like he took over my mind.
My mom started taking me to doctors, and they said I was bipolar at five years old! They put me on meds, and I went crazy! My mom had to put me in a psych ward to get me off of the meds.
I didn’t have a stable life growing up at all! Around the age of 5, I remember sitting on my Nanny’s (grandma’s) lap with my 2-year-old brother, the last time I remember seeing him. We had the same dad but different moms. I had another brother about 1 1/2 years younger and a sister almost two years older, all with the same dad but different moms. They all had the same mom and dad. My dad got around and fought a lot and was an alcoholic. He was constantly in and out of jail for fighting.
My mom was with him at the time; she was always back and forth with him and another man. My mom left him and went back to the other man. My mom got pregnant with me at 16. She had me on her 17th birthday. What a birthday gift! After remembering my brother and me on my Nanny’s lap (she was my mom’s mom), my siblings went through terrible things worse than me. I was watching my mom in an abusive relationship and me being mentally abused all the while my siblings were with my dad. They were having it so much worse. My dad got with a girl, and my mom kept me away from them. My siblings were getting physically and mentally abused very badly!
My youngest brother, who sat on my Nanny’s lap with me, got really sick. He ended up having pneumonia. He was crying a lot and just sick like a normal 2-year-old would do. He got beat all the time along with my siblings and fed terrible old food. CPS never did anything when my mom called, or neighbors would call.
Well, one day, my dad had a doctor’s appointment, so he left. They always kept my young brother in sleepers that covered everything, even your feet. My dad’s girlfriend had enough of my little brother crying from being so sick. She turned out to be pregnant, too. She took my brother, beat him, and slammed his head against a glass mirror in the bathroom! She threw him on the floor. He wouldn’t even move. My two siblings were on the couch. She took my dying 2-year-old brother and laid him on my other brother’s lap; he was about 4. We were only like a year and a half apart. She got her fake act together and cried to neighbors to help her. My sibling’s real mother was on drugs and had bad mental illness, and she killed herself. That’s why my siblings were with our dad. The only reason I wasn’t was because we had different moms. Leading up to that day, my dad had beaten my brother, and his girlfriend did the final killing, but they both were involved. My little brother was covered with so many bruises from head to toe over the days leading to this. The hospital said they could barely tell the color of his skin; it was that bad. He lasted 2 to 3 days in the ICU on a vent and passed away. This was in 1994. He is with the LORD; that part comforts me in knowing I will see him in my real home with JESUS; at the time, I didn’t know that.
They took my sister and other brother and put them in foster care. My dad and his girlfriend went to trial. My dad took a plea deal and got a lesser sentence since he wasn’t there to do the final killing. He got ten years in prison, and she got 20 years in prison.
I was still 5 when this all happened. My mom stayed with the abusive man. My dad’s family was not good either, and I didn’t have them in my life. My grandpa was the best, my mom said, but sadly, he killed himself when I was a baby. They think he was murdered by my grandma’s (dad’s mom) boyfriend, but no one could ever prove it. I didn’t see my siblings again till MANY years later.
I continued to watch my mom get mentally and sometimes physically abused, as well as I got mentally abused by the man my mom stayed with. My mom would leave him and get a place, but she would always get back with him.
My Nanny was always beside us wherever we went. She was an alcoholic, but she was like my dad growing up. She took care of me the most. My mom was promiscuous and worked a lot.
One day, I was about 7, I believe. I ran into my Nanny’s room and found her barely breathing! I ran to my mom and told her. My Nanny was rushed to the hospital, and it turns out she tried to kill herself by taking her bottle of pills. I saved her life that day! She started calling me her angel!
I was always in a bad environment around bad people, alcoholics, or people who did drugs. I remember when I was in 3rd grade, a church bus came down my road. I wanted to go to church so badly. It was a Baptist church. I rode the bus and went on Sundays, and I’m pretty sure Wednesdays were too. I had a wonderful youth pastor. We had a play there called Heaven’s Gates and Hell’s Flames. I knew I wanted to go to heaven and not hell.
My pastor helped me get saved. I think I was around 10. I remember this girl and me singing on Sundays in front of the whole church. Remember at the beginning I said I loved singing? It still helps me cope to this day. I got baptized not long after getting saved.
Everything was the same at home, but I couldn’t wait to go to church. I looked forward to it every week. With the same abusive man, my mom had a baby with him when I was 7 1/2 years old. So I had a new brother.
My mom moved us to a different town, and I stopped attending that church. I’m not sure why I did. My mom was still going back and forth with the same man.
I didn’t start living for Jesus; I started living for the world. I was mad at everything. I was sick of my life. When I got to my new school in 4th grade, I got bullied at first just for being new. I ended up getting in a fight. My mom was with another man, and he was so nice. I really liked him. My mom left him and went back to the same man. Before that, she would still write my dad in prison, and he would send us stuff and write me stuff. He would send tapes of him singing and making us gifts.
My whole life, I was confused. How could my mom want to be with him when he killed my brother? He promised he didn’t do it. We know he did. The evidence was there. He blamed it all on his girlfriend, who then was my other sister’s mom. She had her in prison, and her mom’s sister adopted her.
Growing up was a mess. Since Freddy Krueger, I have always had bad dreams and vivid ones, too. Well, one day, I got out of the shower and was home alone with my dog. I was about 12 or 13. I heard plain as day my name. I was awake and getting dressed. It scared me because no one was home. Another day, a glass thing that went over a light fixture in the ceiling fell straight down on me. It didn’t cut anything but my leg. It was so weird.
My mom would have my Nanny take sexy pictures of my mom to send to my dad. My mom took me to visit my dad in prison. At age 16, he ended up getting out. He moved to another state with a girl he married in prison who was my aunt’s (his sister) best friend. I don’t know what I was thinking; I just wanted stability and love.
My mom had me thinking the whole time my dad was pretty much innocent. So, when I was 16, my mom let me see him with his new wife and my stepbrothers and sister. My cousin on my dad’s side went with me. She and I went to school together. My dad came to pick us up.
I remember it was the 4th of July. We went to my step-sister’s boyfriend’s party. My dad was giving me jello shots. My step-sister stayed there. We all went back to the house. My stepmom, stepbrothers, and cousin went to pick her up so I could spend time with my dad. He said come lay with me. He tried to rape me! Thankfully, before he could, they all walked in. I said, “I wanna go home.” They threw my stuff out in the yard and made me wait hours till my boyfriend could get me. I found out that he was raping my step-sister! My mom let my boyfriend (at the time) get me instead of her. My mom didn’t press charges because we were scared of that family.
My mom moved us back in with the same man who was my brother’s dad. He promised to be different, just like all the times before. It was always a lie. This time, he bought a house, and we moved in. I was a teenager.
Sometime in between here, my Nanny got saved and quit drinking! PRAISE GOD!! I was so happy for her! I had boyfriends, and I was promiscuous, never growing up in a stable home or with any stability. I should have turned back to Jesus, but I didn’t. I turned to boys.
One day, I was 17, and I wanted cereal. We were out of milk. My mom gave me her old car, so I had a car to drive, which I was thankful for. Living in a house of abuse from my mom’s boyfriend, it was nice to get away. I got milk at the convenience store just a few minutes up the road. I came back home. About 2 mins later, there was a knock on the door. My mom said there is a boy at the door for you. I thought it was a joke. I literally just got back from the store. I went to the door, and it was a guy I knew from school. I didn’t know him well, and he was older than me. I was 17, and he was 21. He asked me out, and I said, “Yes.”
We got serious very fast. He called me one night and said to come to his house. He still lived with his parents. He was crying and saying he was addicted to pain pills. I never knew I never got into drugs. I would drink, but I never did drugs. I didn’t know how severe this would be. I couldn’t take the abusive home anymore.
I had one semester left, and I graduated. I left at 17. My mom tried to get me back, but the cops wouldn’t do anything since I was 18 in one month. My boyfriend and I had nowhere to live, so we lived in his car for three days till his grandma let us go there. My mom took my car back from me. We stayed at his grandma’s for a while. It was so crammed.
He treated me so good, then at six months, out of nowhere BAM, he choked me hard because I asked him to ask his cousin and friends to please be a little quieter. He choked me, rolled over, and went to sleep like it was nothing. This is how it all started.
I was crying and felt so alone, but I wasn’t alone; I just didn’t realize it. Jesus was there. His cousin and friends scared me. They were in there cutting their hands, doing blood packs, and doing drugs. I was crying, and my boyfriend just choked me hard and rolled over and went to sleep.
As time passed, my boyfriend’s mom got us a trailer to live in up the road. She never liked me, and I never knew why. The trailer didn’t have water, but we had a place to live. We would go to this one convenience store and fill up jugs. They had a good pump, which we used to help each other bathe and cook. We would shower at people’s houses that we knew. He wouldn’t keep a job, and he was always looking for pills.
I never took the pills or got addicted, but living with an addict is hard. I felt bad and tried so hard to fix him. He hit me a lot. He would go to the clinics and try to get clean, but he always would go right back to the pills.
One night, we were fighting so badly. I was in a nightgown. He held a 12 gauge shotgun to my face! He said if I left him, I would die because he would kill me and then himself. I was somehow able to get around him and run out the door. He slammed my arm in the door! I didn’t even have shoes on. I stole his keys and went up the road to call my mom. I said, “Please come get me, let me come home.” She said I couldn’t because of the bad man (my brother’s dad.) I was lost and had no one.
I returned to the trailer and went inside, not knowing what would happen. To my surprise, he left me alone after some verbal fighting. I slept, but was very scared.
Months went by, and he asked me to marry him. Being 18 and having no one but him, I thought this might fix things. We got married, and his mom was so livid. She hated me. I don’t know why! I think it’s because I didn’t do drugs too.
She found us another trailer with water. She moved us besides his aunt and cousins. One of his cousins always looked out for me even though he also did drugs, but he took my side. It was nice to have someone. I knew I had my Nanny, but her landlord wouldn’t let me stay with her full-time. He would get mad at me, and he would sit in a chair. He would throw a knife down to the floor and keep doing that. It scared me.
It was the day before Christmas time, and his mom was being nicer. Very odd to be nice to me, but I was glad. He got off the phone with his mom, and I said something normal, and with a switch, it set him off. He pushed me on the bed and jumped on top of me, punching me everywhere. I guarded my face and was screaming and crying! He hit my head all over and managed to punch my mouth. Instantly, he stopped when he saw all of the blood. I felt my mouth, and it felt like I lost or was losing some teeth. I ran to the bathroom with blood dripping everywhere. I looked in the mirror, and my gum was split in half. My two front teeth were lose. My head hurt so bad from all of the punches he gave me all over.
Fortunately, GOD stepped in again and saved my teeth! I did not lose them. However, I did have to eat out of one side of my mouth for one year. This is another example of how GOD has been there for me throughout my trials.
We went to sleep that night. I remember crying in pain from my head because the knots even hurt to lay my head on a pillow. I was scared I was going to die! I was scared to death. We woke up, and his mom called. She wanted to speak to me. She was being nice and invited us over to Christmas. I said, “Your son…” and proceeded to tell her what he did, thinking she might be on my side. She was furious. Saying she was coming to beat me up and I better not call the cops. She said his aunt and cousin would be over to help beat me up, too. I was terrified, and he went along with it.
I ran to try to lock myself in a room to call the cops. He tackled me right in front of the room and grabbed my phone. Somehow, when he wasn’t looking, I was able to call my mom, saying, “Please help! Come get me!” before he caught me, I hung up. He grabbed my phone, and I never got it back.
By the grace of GOD, because I always prayed, I sat on the bed praying my mom made it first. I could see my mom driving towards the front door, and they were coming in through the back door. I was able to make it out to my mom in the front. I know it was GOD. I told my mom to go now. I explained to her everything, and she saw my mouth.
We went to my Nanny’s. At my Nanny’s, we called the cops. I was scared to press charges, but the cop did it for me by looking at my mouth. He was on my side. It made me feel a little less scared. He went there and arrested him. His mom bailed him out. My mom wouldn’t let me come live with her, and I couldn’t stay at my Nanny’s. I had no friends; I was isolated. No family to be there, nothing! My Nanny felt terrible.
My mom took me to a women’s resource center, where they helped me get a restraining order and divorce. I was there for 2 weeks, and I called my old friend. She came and got me out and let me live with her. I had PTSD for a while. I went promiscuous and filled the void with men instead of turning to GOD as I should have. I was living with one guy and friends, and it was a never-ending cycle.
Time had passed, and I was 25, and I went back to him. He messaged me and said, “Sorry,” and he was different and changed. My stupid self-believed him. I went back, and I was living back and forth with my cousin and his friend, who did drugs for a while. I was finally able to move in with his friend, and he did, too. He and his friends did drugs. I’m thankful through it all, I stayed clean, never doing drugs, or things probably would have turned out so much worse for me.
He made me work a job, and he didn’t even work. He wanted my money for drugs. He wanted my anxiety meds. And if I didn’t give them to him, he slapped me and had his friend, who was a girl, threatening to beat me up. It was a vicious cycle, but at least the beatings were fewer and not as bad as the first time.
We went to his friend’s house, and he did drugs. It was a drug house. That night, I was scared. I told him I wanted to leave. We were outside by a tree. He took a knife and cut his arm and said if I left, he would kill himself. I decided to stay! He was good at being a manipulator! We went back in the house. There, he and another guy started doing drugs. I went upstairs by myself, scared. He came upstairs so high I thought, “Oh no.” I was scared for him. All night, he tried to overdose. I stayed awake throughout the night, slapping him to make sure he didn’t overdose! I had never seen him that bad! Around 6 am, I wanted to get out of that house.
I walked, and it was a good 2-mile walk up the road. I begged my cousin to pick me up and let me come back. He did. He was so mad at me. I ended up going back to the house to live with him and the guy. I had been cheating on him with a good guy (so I thought.) He didn’t do drugs, but he led me on so much! He ended up going back to his ex-girlfriend, knowing how much he had led me on. I begged my mom to please let me stay with her. I was so tired of this life! At that time, she and my Nanny moved 2 hours away.
My mom was Christian and married a Christian man! She got away from the bad man. We still have a rocky relationship, but she was/is my mom, and I love her! I told my mom my situation, and she came and got me. I stayed back and forth with my mom and Nanny till we could figure out something. I was just thankful my mom was there for me this time.
A guy I went to high school with messaged me out of the blue. He knew I had been through it with that guy. We talked, and it escalated fast. I was pregnant. He quickly moved me in with him and his dad till we found a house.
We found a house, and I moved in with him. I had our son at 26 yrs. old (I’m 34 now, and he’s 8yrs old). I wanted to live right the whole time and would ask my boyfriend if we could go to church. We never did. We kept living for the world as he wasn’t saved yet. I would try to get back to JESUS, but being with an unbeliever held me back so much. I know, no excuse, though.
I prayed for years for him to get saved. Fast forward to 2020, and we finally got married! I was so happy I didn’t want to live in sin in GOD’S eyes! Fast forward to 2021, and I started to try to live more right. My husband and I went through a huge fight that made me leave him for six weeks. In those 6 weeks, he got saved! Praise the LORD!🙌 I came back to him, and we kept getting better. We’re better than ever now!
I kept living right, but I was halfway in for JESUS and halfway out! JESUS hates Lukewarm the most, and you can’t do that.
Fast forward to June 2022. I went swimming, just my mom and me, at a wave pool. I told her my neck was hurting. I thought maybe it was just the waves and didn’t think anything of it. The next day was worse. It hurt and felt like my whole head was filled with chlorine. That’s what I thought, at least. The pain in my head and neck kept getting worse. I rode it out, thinking it was just sore from that day. It got so bad I was lying in bed crying. I knew something was wrong. My husband said, “You’re going to the hospital.” I went, and they said I had whiplash. I thought, “ok, that’s possible.” It steadily kept getting worse this time, and along with the pain, my vision was getting affected! I was so scared!
I went back to the hospital, and they said I had whiplash and a concussion. I never hit my head. I was so sick and just wanted answers. I wanted to feel normal again. I hit the floor in our room, crying out to GOD, “Please help me! I’m sorry. God forgive me; help me, LORD!” I went and visited my primary doctor, and she put me with a retired doctor who had just had a concussion. I took it upon myself to make an eye appt, and that’s when GOD saved me!
My eye doctor took pics and examined me. He said to me, “You have something so rare. I’ve only seen this one time.” He said, “If we don’t get you help now, you can go blind!” I was crying and praying, so terribly scared! I told him the concussion doctor I was supposed to have a video appt with the next day. I gave him his number. He called the doctor and told him what it was! Thanks to GOD, this doctor knew what I had to do. When I woke up and had my video call with him, he said pack your bags. You’re being directly admitted to the neurological floor at the big hospital 3 hours away! He asked, “Can you get on the road fast?” I said, “Of course!”
I called my husband. He left work, and we went straight there with our son and all. I prayed and told GOD “I trust You, and please don’t let me lose my eyesight!”
I got to the hospital, and I had every known test you could ever think of. I had been diagnosed with Idiopathic intracranial hypertension (IIH)! It’s a rare neurological disorder that mimics a brain tumor. So I had brain tumor symptoms with no brain tumor. I was so sick. The pressure in my head was nothing I can describe! I prayed, and prayed! Everyone who came in and examined my eyes, I’m not talking about regular exams; I mean by a neuro-ophthalmologist.
They said, “We don’t know if you will lose sight. You have so much spinal fluid in your head that it is squeezing your optic nerves. You will be lucky and have a long road ahead of you.” They said I might have to have brain surgery. It’s a condition that, at the time, causes too much spinal fluid, which pushes it into your head and crushes everything in there. The migraines were terrible!
I prayed and cried, and that night in the hospital, I felt peace. I felt that no matter what, GOD would take care of me.
They started me on powerful meds, and I stayed in the hospital for a few days. They did a lumbar puncture and drained the extra fluid off of me. They said, “Your doctors for this are up here now, so you will have to commute a lot.”
I didn’t care; I just wanted to be better. I got discharged and told to be back in 3 weeks and take the meds. Any changes with vision to come back immediately, and brain surgery would be my option.
I had to do a vision check every day. I couldn’t drive, watch TV, barely read or anything. I just trusted GOD and laid there. Knowing I could go blind any second was so scary, but I was giving everything to GOD. I wasn’t running from him anymore! I surrendered EVERYTHING to GOD! I quit living halfway and started living all the way! I gave up all my scary movies, the bad music, the bad TV, the cussing, social media, worldliness, EVERYTHING! I just wanted to trust GOD and do what I should have done forever ago, and that’s live for him. It took a serious illness to bring me back to GOD, and I thank him for giving me this illness! GOD healed my eyes. I didn’t lose any vision. Now, I have 20/20 vision. They say it’s a miracle, but I tell them it’s GOD!🙌 ALL GLORY TO GOD! My migraines have gotten better with meds, and they are weaning me off the powerful meds because I have been better for a while now!
GOD saved me more times than I can count. I’m so thankful he brought me back to him! Now, I live for him, and I’m stronger than ever. Yes, I have my moments, and yes, I am still a sinner! I know that JESUS loves me and accepts me, and I know that JESUS loves you and will accept you as you are!
I didn’t deserve a second, third, or 500th chance, but GOD gave it to me. He will do the same for you! All of the hatred I’ve had toward people in my life who have done terrible things to me, I forgive them. I don’t hate anyone, and that’s because of JESUS!
I thank GOD so much for this illness and for saving me from what could have happened! For bringing me back home! Thank you for giving me a now-Christian husband and our wonderful son! I fully live for JESUS now, and I struggle still. We always will. Fight the enemy with GOD! When the enemy knocks you down, stand up strong!
We ALL sin and fall short of the glory every day. I know where I will never go again, and that’s back! My husband is saved now, and we go to church. I teach our son that JESUS is number 1! I pray for my enemies, and I’m so thankful JESUS gave me peace with it all!
If GOD can forgive me and my terrible past, he can/will forgive you! Go to him as you are! JESUS paid it ALL! He died for me in public so that I will live for him in public 💜 JESUS is my everything! My number 1, my dearest friend. No words can describe how great and how much I love JESUS! He saved my undeserving soul!
Thank you, LORD! Love you all, Catherine
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Amen! Amen! What a powerful testimony –
Jesus says in Luke 4:18
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,
Because He has anointed Me
To preach the gospel to the poor;
He has sent Me [i]to heal the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives
And recovery of sight to the blind,
To set at liberty those who are [j]oppressed;
And indeed, he did with our good sister Catherine. My pastor says, “Our wounds become our scars, and our scars become our testimony.” How blessed are we to hear this incredible testimony?
Jesus will heal you, too – it doesn’t matter what you’ve done, where you’ve been, or what you’ve lived through; Jesus wants you to hear his voice and to come to him today!
If you’re ready to give your heart and life to Jesus, amen and hallelujah! You can do it right here and now! It doesn’t matter if it’s from a website, a YouTube video, or a Reddit post – the Holy Spirit knows no boundaries.
Here is the gospel
1 Corinthians 15
15 Moreover, brethren, I declare to you the gospel which I preached to you, which also you received and in which you stand, 2 by which also you are saved, if you hold fast that word which I preached to you—unless you believed in vain.
3 For I delivered to you first of all that which I also received: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, 4 and that He was buried, and that He rose again the third day according to the Scriptures,
Jesus Christ died, shed his blood on the cross for our sins, was buried, and was raised again on the third day. He did this so we could be reconciled, saved by grace and grace alone!
If you believe, then join me in this prayer:
Oh God in heaven, I know I am a sinner. I am sorry for my sins and the life I’ve led – I know I need your forgiveness.
I believe that your only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, shed his precious blood on the cross at Calvary and died for all of my sins, and I am now willing to turn from sin and towards him.
You said in the Bible that if we confess with our mouths that Jesus is Lord and believe that God raised Him from the dead, we will be saved. Today, I confess that Jesus is Lord, and I believe with all my heart that God raised him from the dead. At this very moment, I accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour according to His word. Thank you for saving me, Lord! Thank You for Your grace, truth, and eternal life. Amen
If you’ve just said that prayer with me, congratulations, and welcome to the Kingdom of God!! We’d love to hear from you! Please email us at info@tolministries.com – we want to help you grow in your discipleship, connect with a home church, and get you into reading God’s word!
Maranatha Brothers and Sisters, Maranatha!!
6 December 2023 at 13:35
Sister Catherine your story brings tears to my eyes. I cannot imagine having to endure all you have endured. When you said, “ He died for me in public so that I will live for him in public.” Yes and AMEN sister!!!! That just really hit home and I couldn’t have said that any better! I’m thrilled you and your family are all in Christ, together forever!!! What a blessing after so much heartache! God had you in his hands the whole time, and I know you look forward to the day you get to be with your baby brother again. Looking forward to meeting you in the clouds! Maranatha
6 December 2023 at 13:35
This is a powerful story. Thank you for sharing. God is worthy of all our praise.
6 December 2023 at 19:15
Oh sister, you have a special place in my heart our stories are so similar. This is an amazing testament to how God can use evil for good. You are such a blessing and encouragement. I’m so happy you are my sister and I can’t wait to see you in our forever home! I love you! God bless you!
9 December 2023 at 05:43
What an amazing story of how God reaches into the darkest of circumstances and brings salvation and something beautiful. Thank you for sharing your experience and for inspiring others with your story of hope! Only God could take so much pain and turn it into a story of redemption like that. All of us at TOL Online Outreach are blessed to have you with us!